Friday, 7 February 2014


While we were still baffled about Same-sex marriage around the world, though becoming an accepted norm in some western states, the world is hit with another wonderment as a church in San Francisco, CA the Chapel of Our Lady at the Presidio joins a man and a male dog together in “holy” matrimony. This is the first-ever state recognized human-animal marriage.
The couple consisted of 35-year-old Mr. Paul Horner, the groom, and MAC, his faithful dog who is 36-years-old (in dog years). Mac could be seen at the wedding wearing a white veil beside her “husband” and before priest who performed the wedding rites. The clergyman, Father McHale, who officiated the joining of the couple said to news reporters that he was extremely happy to be a part the historical occasion. In his words: “This is the definition of true love my friends. There is nothing more sacred than the bond between a man and his faithful dog.” Now, since it is recognized as a legally binding marriage in the state of California, Mr. Horner and Mac will have all the same tax benefits and everything else coming to them that a regular married couple would receive. It’s a fantastic day to be alive!”

Many expressed dismay at the happening. How can the government of California legalize such union? But the law being quoted in support of this wedding dates back to 1850. California’s State Laws and Regulations had asserted a little known law that was passed when the state was being formed in 1850. The article 155, paragraph 10, states:

“If a man and a man can get married and a woman and a woman can get married, if ever comes that day, then a human and animal will have the exact same rights to marriage in every eye of the law. God help us if this ever is to happen!”

It seemed, as at then, that the founding law makers did not imagine that there could ever come a time when a man would want to be married to an animal. But the days are here, and Horner (a human being) is now married to Mac (an animal, a dog). And funny enough, he was not standing alone at the altar during the wedding. Present and in full attendance was his entire family who had flown from Hawaii to witness the wedding. The dog, Mac on the other hand also had the presence of her puppies to be grateful for. Also, there was a special celebrity appearance by Alex from Stroh’s and Spuds Mckenzie.

The excited groom shares his feelings, thus: “I just love my Mac so much, I can’t wait till we can finally get back to the honeymoon suite in Montana where bestiality is legal. Gosh, get with the times California! We can marry here just fine, but love making is a big no-no.”

Mr. Horner further said that, “People keep asking me why I wanted to marry a dog. I told them I just want the same god given rights that every person in California is allowed to have. Don’t tell me I can’t marry my dog. I don’t tell you that you can’t marry a 500 lb woman with gas issues. That’s your decision. Don’t tread on me. I love my dog and I know he loves me a hundred times more than any gay wedding out there.”

So, that was the story of the first man-animal wedding. Should we say, “Happy Married Life” to this couple? With this, we can be sure many would follow in Horner’s footstep. And who knows what else in on the way to challenge God’s moral law on matrimony in this our delinquent, putrefying world. May God help us!

Written by ~Emdee David.

1 comment:

John ayobase said...

Stupid set of people. Even the officiating priest is a goat!